Being a family lawyer is one of the most emotionally charged and impactful jobs in legal practice. Family lawyers help clients survive life-altering situations – divorce, child custody battles, domestic violence cases, adoption, and financial disputes that shape their futures. The work is fast-paced, high-stakes, and deeply personal.
If you’re reading this, you’ve likely already completed law school and passed the bar exam (or plan to). Hopefully you took a family law class or two along the way. The question now is: How do you break into family law and build a successful career?
This article will explore how to get into this field, the day-to-day realities of practicing family law, and alternative career paths if those responsibilities don’t suit you, yet you still feel passionately about the subject matter.
How to break into family law
Unlike some legal fields that require extensive networking or a slow climb up the corporate ladder, family law offers relatively accessible entry points for new attorneys. Here are some of the top ways to break in:
Target smaller firms
Because family law matters require a high level of personalized attention, solo, small, and mid-sized firms tend to handle the bulk of family law cases. Due to the prevalence of family disputes in all walks of life, these firms can be found in cities and rural areas alike. So, do some research in your local area and go after firms whose ideals align with your own.
Consider legal aid or public interest work
Organizations that provide family law assistance to low-income clients often need entry-level attorneys. Demand for these services is high and available attorneys are scarce. Consequently, these organizations are a great place for newer attorneys to get their feet wet.
Offer contract work
Many smaller firms — especially small firms and solo practitioners – need help with research, drafting pleadings, or handling hearings but may not be able to hire full-time associates. That’s where contract attorneys come in. Reach out to the smaller firms in your area and offer your assistance.
Start a solo firm
Family law is one of the few areas where newly licensed attorneys can start their own firm early. Keep in mind, however, this strategy requires strong mentorship, business acumen, and a reliable client pipeline.
How to build expertise
Practice areas like business litigation tend to move at a glacial pace. Consequently, it can be hard for newer attorneys to step in and gain substantive experience. Family law attorneys, on the other hand, quickly get hands-on experience in court, where they’ll be quickly called upon to make court appearances, negotiate settlements, and manage client crises. That said, developing expertise requires more than just showing up.
To build expertise as a family lawyer:
Understand the core issues
Take CLE courses or do self-study on issues like divorce, child custody, child support, spousal support, and domestic violence.
Get courtroom experience
Many family law matters involve hearings, temporary restraining orders, and trials. It’s not unusual for junior attorneys to argue cases early in their careers. Be proactive and let your employer know you want this experience.
Work with non-legal professionals
In family law, you’ll regularly collaborate with social workers, financial analysts, forensic accountants, and therapists. Positioning yourself to meet and interact with these types of professionals will make you a better advocate.
The realities of practicing family law
Emotional intensity
Family law is unique among legal fields because it is deeply personal and highly emotional. You aren’t dealing with corporations or abstract legal principles – you’re handling real families, real children, and real crises. Almost every case involves someone’s life falling apart, and they’re turning to you for help.
Clients come in angry, terrified, or devastated. A father desperate to see his kids after being falsely accused of abuse. A mother in tears because her ex stopped paying child support. A spouse whose partner drained their joint bank account and left them penniless. Many of your clients will be experiencing the worst moments of their lives, and you’ll need to be both their advocate and, at times, their emotional anchor.
The hardest part? You can’t fix everything.
You may argue passionately in court only for a judge to rule against your client. You may draft a perfect custody agreement only for both parents to ignore it. You may fight tooth and nail for a domestic violence victim, only for them to return to their abuser. These moments can be traumatic. Family law attorneys burn out faster than many other lawyers because the work is emotionally draining.
But the flip side is this: When you do make a difference, the reward is immense. Helping a parent keep custody of their child, securing a fair divorce settlement, or protecting a client from an abusive relationship – these are victories that change lives. If you can handle the emotional weight, family law offers some of the most meaningful legal work out there.
Balancing advocacy with ethics
Every lawyer must balance zealous advocacy with professional ethics, but in family law, the lines are often blurred.
Clients don’t always tell the truth. For example, you may discover that your client – who swore they were a perfect parent – is actually neglectful, dishonest, or manipulative.
High-conflict cases bring out the worst in people. Parents will use children as weapons. Spouses will lie to gain leverage. Clients will pressure you to “destroy” their ex, and you must decide how far you’re willing to go.
Ethical gray areas are common. A client wants you to introduce damaging (but questionably relevant) evidence. Another asks you to delay proceedings to make their ex suffer financially. Do you comply, knowing it’s within the law, or do you push back?
The good family lawyer understands that winning at all costs isn’t always the goal. The goal is a fair, sustainable resolution – especially when children are involved. But convincing your client of this is often a battle in itself.
Work-life balance
If you’re looking for a 9-to-5 job, family law isn’t it.
Emergencies happen at all hours. Clients expect immediate responses when they’re in crisis, whether it’s a spouse violating a custody order or a domestic violence victim needing a protective order tonight.
Last-minute court filings? Constant.
Clients calling in panic on weekends? Regular.
Emotional exhaustion? Inevitable.
Family lawyers often experience compassion fatigue, where the constant exposure to high-stakes, emotional conflicts takes a toll on their mental health. Burnout is real, and some lawyers end up leaving family law within a few years because it consumes their personal lives.
So how do you survive? Set boundaries early.
Don’t answer non-emergency calls after business hours.
Learn to emotionally detach – your clients’ problems are not yours.
Find outlets outside of work that bring you peace (therapy, exercise, creative hobbies).
If you can master these, you’ll last longer and serve your clients better.
Alternative paths in family law
For those who love family law but hate litigation, there are alternative paths that allow you to stay in the field without constant courtroom battles. Here are a few ideas:
Mediation and collaborative law
Traditional divorce litigation is often a lose-lose situation. It’s expensive, emotionally destructive, and can go on for years. That’s why mediation and collaborative law are rapidly growing fields.
Mediators work with divorcing couples to negotiate settlements without going to court. This approach is less adversarial and often better for families, especially those with children.
Collaborative law is similar but involves each spouse having their own attorney while committing to an out-of-court resolution.
For lawyers who prefer a problem-solving role over a fighting role, these paths offer a less combative way to practice family law.
Government and public interest roles
Not all family lawyers work in private practice. Government agencies and nonprofits offer opportunities to advocate for families in crisis. For example:
- Child protective services attorneys represent the government in cases of abuse or neglect.
- Public defenders handle cases involving parental rights and child welfare.
- Nonprofit organizations provide free or low-cost legal aid to low-income families.
These roles can be emotionally demanding, but they often provide more job stability than private practice.
Policy, advocacy, and legislative work
You might also consider trying to shape family law through policy and advocacy. For example, you might:
- Work with nonprofits that push for family law reform.
- Join think tanks that research custody laws and domestic violence policies.
- Help draft legislation that improves child welfare systems.
These roles are ideal for lawyers who want to create systemic change rather than handling one case at a time.
Conclusion
Becoming a family lawyer isn’t just about passing the bar – it’s about surviving and thriving in what can often be described as an emotional tornado.
You need thick skin to handle clients in crisis. You need strong ethics to navigate messy legal battles.You need boundaries to avoid burnout.
But for those who can manage the intensity, family law offers an unmatched sense of purpose. You’re not just handling legal disputes – you’re helping people rebuild their lives. If that’s the kind of lawyer you want to be, family law may be the perfect fit.
